Travelling

Jokes about Tourists

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Have you ever heard the story of the city man out in the country? "And he sees this farmer sitting on his porch, and he says, 'Mister, do you know how can I get to town?' And the fellow says, 'No.' And the city man says, 'Well, can you tell me how to get to the post office?' And the fellow says, 'No.' 'Well, do you know how to get to railroad station?' 'No.' 'Mister,' he says, 'you sure don't know much, do you?' And the farmer on the porch says, 'No. But I am not lost.'"

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A farmer, who went to a large city to see the sights, engaged a room at a hotel and before retiring asked the clerk about the hours for meals.
"We have breakfast from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3 and supper from 6 to 8," explained the clerk.
"Look here," inquired the farmer in surprise, "but at what time am I going to see the town?"

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American: Why have you never visited the United States?
German: I know only a few sentences in English.
American: What are they?
German: How do you do? I love you. Forgive me. Ham and eggs, please.
American: Why, with that vocabulary you could tour my country from Maine to California.

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American tourist: How long did it take to build this large hotel?
Guide: Why, about six months.
American: Six months! Why, it wouldn't take us more than six weeks to put up a building like that in New York.
The American tourist and his guide pass an office building which is quite new.
American: And how long did it take to build that?
Guide: About four weeks.
American: Four weeks! In New York we'd build a place like that in four days.
Nothing more is said until they approach the Houses of Parliament.
American: Well, that's not a bad looking place. How long did it take to build it?
Guide: Well, you may not believe me, but that building wasn't there when I crossed the bridge last night.